(…and why so many should vie for it…)

We’ve spent a lot of time studying and researching over the years to figure out what is the most perfect job in America…and to understand why so many should vie for it.

It does take a bit of doing just to get it, but it’s well worth the effort because, once you have it, you can be set for life. Here why:

  1. Other than being a citizen, qualifications for it are minimal.
  2. You don’t need any kind of hot shot resume, or fancy academic credentials to be considered for it.
  3. The only thing you do need, however, is an absolutely refined ability to lie through your teeth well enough to convince the powers that be to hire you.
  4. You get hired on a two year contract, for which you are generously compensated with a six figure income per year and Cadillac medical benefits…even if you just sit on your ass for that entire time…never saying a mumbling word or doing anything… other than to show up for roll call…to vote on whatever flim-flam legislation is being proposed from time to time.
  5. At the end of your two year contract you have the option of retiring…and getting a partial pension and medical benefits…for life.
  6. You’ll also have a concurrent option to become a lobbyist (with an open-ended expense account) for any number of special interests dumb enough to believe your two year stint in that job will let you become a “rain maker” for them.

Of course, it takes a lot of money these days just to apply for that job, but, if that ability of yours to lie like a rug is as good as it should be, there are enough deep pocket special interests and PACs around who’ll be more than happy to finance your application for it, in expectation of a good ROI from you later on.

So…what is this most fabulous job…you ask? The answer is…become…a Congressperson!

Yes sir, folks, if America is truly the land of opportunity; then, becoming a Congressperson is the perfect job to achieve those opportunities.