RESOLVING THE ISIS CRISIS…
(perhaps requires a more creative approach to do so…)

In the aftermath of the San Bernardino terrorist act, everyone, from the President, various members of Congress, down to all those candidates campaigning for the Oval Office next year, is hollering and yammering about ways and means for resolving the ISIS crisis.

The President, as customary after such an event, addressed the nation about it from the Oval Office. But other than sounding like the headmaster of some fancy prep-school, he only solemnly invoked tolerance and cautioned against tarring all Moslems with the same “terrorist” brush in a fit of xenophobic angst. Beyond that he didn’t really say very much other than promising a firm resolve to defeat ISIS, etc.. Meanwhile, the best everyone else, including our thundering herd of presidential candidates, could come up with was to loudly proclaim various forms of “bombing it back to the Stone Age”…a somewhat redundant idea since the ISIS mindset seems to be theologically there already. In short, no one is showing any signs of creative problem solving for the situation.

Except, ironically, Trump the Hump, who with his usual demagogic panache, called for the immediate exclusion of any Muslim from coming to America. While both idiotic and hardly a feasible solution, we have to grudgingly admit that in his wrong-headed and wild-ass way he may have unwittingly provided us with a clue for coming up with a workable solution on how to best resolve the ISIS crisis.

Here’s the solution: Given that the driving motivation behind it is an absolute rejection of the Western World’s cultural values, and the main reason for its military and terrorist jihad against it, it seeks to establish a self-declared “Caliphate” as a refuge from such cultural pollution and non- Islamic ways, as a place where its perverted version of Islam might be secure and flourish without hindrance of any kind.

Our question is thus: What if, instead of just bombing them, and spending enormous amounts of effort and money in a seemingly never-ending round of slaughter and counter-slaughter, we offered to help them establish that “Caliphate” of theirs instead? Would the ISIS hierarchs consider such an offer?

And would they accept it under the following terms: 1) All jihad actions against the rest of the world community would cease. 2) In exchange, all military counter-actions against it would cease. 3) Its territorial location would be where it is, straddling the border areas of Syria and Iraq. (Areas that neither failed nation-state has either much control or use for anyway).

4) The boundaries of its Caliphate would be clearly defined by the construction of properly designed and massive berms sealing off its territory from the rest of its neighbors, and with only one or two main points of entry. 5) We would provide assistance in the form of technology, agricultural and other resources, to help it establish whatever infrastructures it needs for sustainability. After that, all contact with the outside world would be eliminated. That is no contact or communications with it of any kind would occur…no telephonic, radio, internet, banking, travel, trade, etc., thereby preventing any kind of un-Islamic influences to penetrate and pollute the pure and pristine environment of its self-imposed Islamic “ghetto”. 6) We would help any would-be joiners or sympathizers who wished to become part of it by providing them with free transport from any place in the world, right to its gates, subject to the following conditions: a) They would register their intent to do so with their national authorities. b) They would formally renounce their citizenship thereof, and turn in their passports. c) They would sign a sworn affidavit that they would make no effort to ever return. d) They would be allowed 90 days to settle their personal affairs before reporting to their point of embarkation for transport to the ISIS Caliphate.

We believe this approach might be mutually beneficial because ISIS would get its Caliphate, while we and the rest of the world would get rid of any potential home-grown “terrorist” threats, and peaceful co-existence might thus result, because they wouldn’t bother us…and we wouldn’t bother them.

For those who might object to such a simple solution, or view it as just plain…simplistic… our only response is this: Since every would-be jihadi would be in that one place, if the Caliphate showed any signs of reneging on the deal…we would still have the option of barrel-bombing them out of existence…so we see it as a win-win proposition.

Sometimes even a Trump the Hump can have a positive…influence.

CENTURION

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